This night was again one of the nights. My partner and my child are sleeping - but my thoughts keep me #awake till the morning. The Vediverse is new to me and #privacy started me thinking, thinking of the time I grow up. In a conservative village in the middle of nowhere. I moved there when I was 13 with my mum, older sister and my new step-father.
At this time I already guessed something is different to me. Also my anatomy keeps me thinking of it. I am something between. I got in contact with the others and grew up. But #gender, #sexuality, etc was something you talked not in an open way. All about gender, gay and so on were swear words. I am/was introverted and fitted to the environment. I grew my hair, wear narrow Jeans, dressed up like a women on carnival but when I would have said what I really feel like, the hell would be opened for me.
I was so afraid and I still am. What I feel I cannot really talk to my family. My own family is great and I will not destroy it. I love them. There are some places I can live it in my thoughts. When we have sex we change roles. But I do not talk to my partner to the last bit. At home, sports and vacation I can wear leggings, but no stuff like tops, skirts, etc. I have a fully shaved body and long hair. Also in video games I can live my feminin side. In real life I have to be alone when I #crossdress. I often go by bike or get hiking. I wish I can make a journey alone to get some days out of my role.
This is now a quite deeper #Introduction of me than I first wanted to write. It took me some courage. But thats also the point why I am here. I have many interests. Being enby or trans is part of my life. Hopefully I can live this part here and get into the community.
PS: The profile picture is me, but edited so no one can make a relation.