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Some autistic people find making phone calls extremely stressful and unpleasant and will avoid them at all costs.

Please don’t try and force your communication preferences on others.

image: anon
#ActuallyAutistic #AuDHD @actuallyautistic

Two illustrated characters are having a conversation. The first character is trying to get the second one to phone someone and the second character doesn’t want to. Person One: CALL THEM Person Two: I SENT THEM AN EMAIL Person One: IT’S BETTER TO CALL THEM Person Two: I ALSO TEXTED THEM Person One: JUST CALL THEM! Person Two: I’LL SEND THEM ANOTHER EMAIL!
#ActuallyAutistic #AuDHD @ActuallyAutistic group
Als Antwort auf Fifi Lamoura

mastodon - Link zum Originalbeitrag

Jan (DL1JPH)

@fifilamoura
This just isn't how this works. You don't get desensitized to overload, you just learn to cope long enough so the other party doesn't notice. That doesn't mean it's any less draining nor less disruptive. Yes, I can handle a phone call just fine (and appear relaxed) most times - I still hate them and may not pick up the call if I don't expect it and know what it's going to be about, especially if I'm already tired.
@CedC @autism101 @actuallyautistic
@Cèd'C @Autism 101 @ActuallyAutistic group @Fifi Lamoura

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Als Antwort auf Fifi Lamoura

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Jan (DL1JPH)

@fifilamoura
Again, this only works if there's an irrational fear - *this is not irrational!* In my case at least, there's no fear involved, just exhaustion. In this case, the exposure therapy you're suggesting is about the *worst* thing you can possibly do. It just risks creating fear and shame on top of the original issue while having essentially no benefit.
@CedC @autism101 @actuallyautistic
@Cèd'C @Autism 101 @ActuallyAutistic group @Fifi Lamoura

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Als Antwort auf Jan (DL1JPH)

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Fifi Lamoura

@DL1JPH @CedC I'm not proposing anyone be forced into this, I'm talking about how one can possibly try it as a way to help oneself if one chooses to and wants to try it (it's easy to develop extra anxiety and become avoidant as a self protection around things like this, especially if they're exhausting and overwhelming for us). It's been a useful tool for me (among other tools) to help cope with some of my own sensory and executive functioning issues, obviously other people's mileage may vary and it may not be for everyone.
@Cèd'C @Jan (DL1JPH)

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Als Antwort auf Jan (DL1JPH)

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Zumbador

@DL1JPH @fifilamoura @CedC Yes it's important to know the difference between irrational fear and fear of pain.

Exposure therapy is different from "forcing yourself to do a thing" because it only works if you're exposed to discomfort just outside your window of tolerance as otherwise you go into overload and people can't learn new behaviour whilst their experiencing trauma, and that's the reason you need an experienced therapist to do it safely.

And exposure therapy only works for irrational fear, as you get to experience that the thing you fear doesn't actually hurt you.

Exposure therapy doesn't work for things that hurt you, like being overwhelmed with stress of making a phone call.

Because of auditory processing disorder, I have to focus really hard, which is exhausting, and the lack of feedback in terms of body language and facial expression makes it even harder than usual for me to understand the conversation and avoid giving offence.

@Cèd'C @Fifi Lamoura @Jan (DL1JPH)

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Als Antwort auf alastair87

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alastair87

The secondary reason is needing more time to process information. This makes it more difficult even on phone calls we initiate, not knowing what is going to happen and having less access to signals from the other person whilst retaining the norm of responding immediately.

I am very wary of having important conversations on the phone where I don't know exactly what I am seeking already for fear I will agree to something just to end the stress of the conversation without thinking it through.

Als Antwort auf Cèd'C

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My name is Gordo (not really)

I feel like it was less awkward with back in the day with landlines. Less time delay. Anything over the internet is the worst, because you start talking, and don't realize the other person started talking already but it took like 2 or 3 seconds to get to you, so it's this constant back and forth interrupting each other, "I feel li—sorry, go on..."

I've never really liked it though, with the exception of a few choice people.

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Als Antwort auf My name is Gordo (not really)

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Hilary

@gordoooo_z @CedC
It absolutely was easier with landlines. I am old enough to remember before there were answering machines (fuck them sideways) or any other tech enhancements to the basic phone.

With the basic phone, if you have summoned up the energy to call them, and they don't answer, there's no record. If they call you, and you don't answer, there's no record. Although my mother would have complained... my hatred for phones is deep and undying.

@Cèd'C @My name is Gordo (not really)
Als Antwort auf Hilary

mastodon - Link zum Originalbeitrag

My name is Gordo (not really)

@regordane I agree and disagree. I generally don't like being called or having to make calls, but there was something magical about a phone back in the POTS days. Maybe it was the static, or maybe it was that you could see the wire going into the wall, and knew it snaked outside the house, into the ground, and off into a great expanse of tangles. And Jeesus do I hate having a smartphone. SMS was great, but the biggest mistake humanity ever made was taking MSN/AIM/ICQ/etc. out of the home...
@Hilary
Als Antwort auf Cèd'C

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My name is Gordo (not really)

@CedC @regordane True, but not picking comes with side effects. I got really burned out at the end of last year, to the point where my phone's notification sound would send me into a rage. I finally decided to just put that shit on Do Not Disturb once I decided my day was done, but then I'd come back to a big wall of missed calls, and messages, and overwhelm. Hasn't stopped me from putting it on Do Not Disturb anyway, but it's definitely a thing.
@Cèd'C @Hilary

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Als Antwort auf Cèd'C

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Jan (DL1JPH)

@CedC
This isn't quite right - I don't have to answer, but I still get disturbed simply by the phone forcing me to pay attention to it and making a decision. I can, of course, simply shut the thing up entirely - then there *will* be people who demand I don't. At this point, if you call me without notice or emergency once, I'll politely ask you not to. The second time, you get blocked. If you want to talk, I'll have to call you back. Maybe.
@regordane @gordoooo_z @autism101 @actuallyautistic
@Cèd'C @Hilary @Autism 101 @ActuallyAutistic group @My name is Gordo (not really)

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Als Antwort auf Cèd'C

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alastair87

I had my phone set up so that if certain trusted numbers called twice within a short time it would override 'Do not Disturb' so that people could get me in a real emergency (e.g. if I'm in a cinema where an emergency interruption is OK and obviously I'll immediately dash out).

I had to turn this off since despite explaining how it worked to my parents they would still ring twice within the window if they didn't get an answer the first time.

Als Antwort auf Hilary

mastodon - Link zum Originalbeitrag

Nick 🫣

@regordane Answering machines -right😂 I'm so old there was a thing called party lines. Cheap ass phone companies utilized multiparty lines to connect many homes to the same telephone line at a time, -your neighbor's could pick up the phone and listen to your calls😵‍💫in.gordoooo_z@hachyderm.io @CedC @autism101 @actuallyautistic
@Cèd'C @Hilary @Autism 101 @ActuallyAutistic group

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Als Antwort auf Autism 101

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Anja

So true. Even here on Mastodon, where there is greater tolerance for autism, people react negatively when I say I emailed instead of called.

I am now at the point where I can confront others: Do you know no other way to communicate than calling by telephone? You do? Then why force your prefered way on me? Are you intolerant?

Now thát rattles their cages. 😬

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Als Antwort auf Autism 101

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Troed Sångberg

This is probably the biggest fuckup I did as a manager of software developers. Of course I knew about developers often being on the spectrum. I also knew about emotional bandwidth, that "people" communicate better the more information we give/receive and thus "an email is better than a text. a phone call is better than an email. a video call is better than a phone call".

My failure was in not properly weighing these two snippets of knowledge against eachother. I did repeatedly ask some developers to just call their colleagues on the other side of the globe instead of "just" emailing them.

What I can do today is spread the knowledge and hopefully other managers will learn from those mistakes.

@actuallyautistic

@ActuallyAutistic group

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Als Antwort auf Troed Sångberg

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bjb

@troed
Phone can be quicker for back and forth discussions.
Written (text/email) is better for larger data dumps, for asking/answering a series of questions and recording the answers in a searchable format for later reference, and for allowing the respondent to answer when it is convenient for them and also so they can consider/compose the response. I use both and choose the method according to the need at the time.
@Troed Sångberg

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Als Antwort auf Troed Sångberg

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LisPi

> "an email is better than a text. a phone call is better than an email. a video call is better than a phone call".

That adage is just entirely wrong from the 2nd part onward.

Video is even *worse* than a voice-call unless one can display something else than one's own body.

And phone calls are less permissive of proper referencing than text (particularly hypertext) on top of being a synchronous imposition on another's time (another flaw shared by video calls).

Als Antwort auf Gary 🇨🇦 🇺🇦 🇪🇺

mastodon - Link zum Originalbeitrag

Aki Moranaga

@mxhdroom

Another good reason. I'm not too bad with spoken words, but I'm much, much better in writing. As you said, it's often clearer and more precise. Maybe it's because you can sort out your thoughts before you write them down.

@autism101 @actuallyautistic

@Autism 101 @ActuallyAutistic group @Gary 🇨🇦 🇺🇦 🇪🇺

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Als Antwort auf Josh Summer

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Mémoriser : Gauche Droite

@joshsummer @1HommeAzerty

Malheureusement si, l'inverse est exact.
Il y a des personnes "valides",-quoique que ce terme soit discutable-, qui ne sont pas en capacité d'écrire un mail où un texto, parce qu'elles ne savent simplement pas.
Par exemple : certaines personnes âgées, certaines personnes qui n'ont pas eu accès à ces savoirs, etc.

@Josh Summer @Pffff...

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Als Antwort auf River Fox

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janusfox 🍅

@river
I hate it when I'll state a preference and then someone will drop "let's have a call" as though they're playing some magical trump card.

People treat "call" like some obviously superior, adult, proper way to do something.

Every 30 minute call can be a 5 minute text exchange.

And somehow, I'm the weird one for wanting to do things precisely and concisely.

@River Fox

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Als Antwort auf Mémoriser : Gauche Droite

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Josh Summer

@MGD @1HommeAzerty Tout à fait d'accord. Mais dans ces cas très précis, j'ai le sentiment qu'une personne autiste fera tout ce qui lui est possible pour s'adapter. Je sais que ce n'est qu'un exemple, sans valeur, mais ma mère n'utilise ni texto ni mail, et je me force à l'appeler 1/2h minimum par semaine. Il me faut chaque fois 3 ou 4h pour récupérer après.
@Pffff... @Mémoriser : Gauche Droite

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Unbekannter Ursprungsbeitrag

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Woozle Hypertwin

@moranaga @wakame
Totally agree about calls -- I have phone-phobia, so I have to really prepare for any planned call and I do not pick up unexpected ones, but the problem happens even with in-person interruptions. Many many times I've been busily coding and then someone starts talking to me and within about 5 seconds I've forgotten what I was doing and have to play Luxor or FreeCell for a bit.

There's a metaphor I used to use a lot: my thought processes are like pebbles at the bottom of a small pond. When the water is calm, I can see them -- but it doesn't take much of a ripple to make that really difficult, and it takes time for the ripples to settle out again.

@Mauser II @Aki Moranaga

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Als Antwort auf Josh Summer

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Mémoriser : Gauche Droite

@joshsummer @1HommeAzerty

Ne croyez pas que je souhaite minimiser les efforts, que ce type d'échanges, demande à une personne autiste. Et je salue votre courage (et votre amour filial) dans la communication avec votre maman.
Quel que soit l'exemple, aussi personnel soit-il, aucun n'est sans valeur.
C'est juste la BD (en exemple), que j'ai trouvé très agressive, qui m'a fait réagir, et que je n'ai jamais pu entendre le son de sa voix...

@Josh Summer @Pffff...

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Unbekannter Ursprungsbeitrag

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Woozle Hypertwin

Absolutely!

Also, I've recently discovered that I can use Google Voice to make calls -- and the fact of being at my laptop, with headphones and a voice-mic, somehow makes it a different experience.

For one thing, it doesn't trigger bad memories of making calls with more traditional equipment.

For another, the headphones screen out extraneous noises and put the other person in both ears (this really seems to help with comprehension)... and I don't have to worry about accidentally covering the mic-hole (a problem with newer phone tech).

...and finally, I'm not having to hold anything. I can use both hands to take notes or whatever.

(Seems to me that cell-phone operators ought to offer a similar service; I'd even argue that they should be regulatorily required to... but that's a whole other discussion.)

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Als Antwort auf Autism 101

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macfixer

The greatest app/service was Path Talk, which allowed you to message any company, by having an actual person be the go-between on the phone. It was a godsend.

theverge.com/2014/6/20/5827452…


Path is back with a new messaging app that can talk to people and places

Morin's message: Path Talk, acquiring TalkTo, and an unlimited friends list
Ellis Hamburger (The Verge)

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Als Antwort auf Autism 101

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Acesabe

@actuallyautistic Since childhood I found making phone calls challenging, and even after working front line support taking angry customer calls, I still always avoid calling unless there is no other option, alas here in Spain it's still very much the case that if you want something you'll have to call, even more challenging if you aren't a native speaker.
@ActuallyAutistic group

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Als Antwort auf Autism 101

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Ricki Crush Bandicute Tarr

I'm not a huge fan of phone calls. I can do them if I need to, but reading something and having it there to remind me of what was said, is much more valuable to me. I do understand that we need to learn certain skills to survive in the world, and I am doing that, but I try to respect people's preferences. Also for me, a caregiver, I'm often around other people, and it's rarely easy for me to take a phone call.

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Als Antwort auf jnpn

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LisPi

Not a fear as much as a profound discomfort.

The realtime constraints of synchronous communication also make it annoying and difficult to use to share information properly & accurately as a representation of one's thoughts/knowledge on a given matter.

The imposition on another's time of synchronous communication methods like phonecalls is also deeply invasive and rude. It should be excusable only in emergencies.

Als Antwort auf Autism 101

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Art Brew

in the UK often the only way to deal with a bank issue is to call them. I've got into serious bank problems because I never want to do it. They'll send letters but if you reply by letter they'll acknowledge the letter and ask you to 'call them to discuss' even though you tell them it's really hard for you to do this and please can we communicate another way.

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Unbekannter Ursprungsbeitrag

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jnpn

@vger I see. I had periods like this, high anxiety, necessity to know more beforehand. With close people, I have these habits already set in. That said I'd be curious to know if people suffering this ever tried to approach the unknown with curiosity (depending on how deep the fear is set in the brain)

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Als Antwort auf Autism 101

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BoneyM 🌲🌳🌿

For whatever reason, I'm far more articulate when I communicate via written medium.

Spoken? You'll get a lot of umming, breaks, and it's much harder to keep things going. I also suck at staying 'on track' within the verbal framework

I can mask (to a point, I think we all do nt folks included) but it is EXHAUSTING in blocks, and sadly if you do a good enough performance of 'normal', that can be mistakenly interpreted as one's 'baseline'.

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jnpn

@vger I see (and personally share a lot of this, i'm very very analytical about people's internal state and all external signs they emit)

I wanted to ask you a few more thing, feel free to say no if that bothers you.

- have you ever felt this anxiety with written communications ? if so does writing allow you to find space to express your questions more than a real time voice conversation ?

1/2

teilten dies erneut

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jnpn

@vger it does, (I share that trait), my brain thrives a lot more alone, "loneliness" is a form of freedom since nobody can limit me.

but i also had traumatic brain changes that made me connected to people deep (affection~)

what still hurts is the inability to be honest and reach this affectionate stage in usual chat (hence my question)

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Als Antwort auf Autism 101

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quixote

Totally NT here (afaik, but wdik?) and I hate calling.

Yes to what people have said: the blithering chitchat, the ums and offtopic meanderings. But the worst for me is hold music, cretinous recorded messages about 'you could use the web' (NO, OR I WOULDN'T BE HERE), endless audio menu trees that never have the option I need. When I finally get to a human, they can't deal with the issue and I'm feeling like The Hulk pretending to behave at the Queen's tea party.

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Als Antwort auf Joanna McKenzie

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Bob

@Jobob that is their preference due to the stress level. Everyone has to compromise to some extent to survive in society. Each person has their own challenges, and we need to be understanding of those differences. Also understanding there are timelines and expectations at companies, sometimes the video or phone calls are required. Like everyone we have to just deal with life at times, and it sucks
@Joanna McKenzie

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Als Antwort auf Autism 101

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Bluedepth

I wish people would think more on the golden rule, like for this, don’t change your communications style away from what the originator sent it with. So if they call, call them back. If they email you, email them back. If they text you, text them back. Always match the inbound technology for your answer, it’s kind and thoughtful and helps everyone not have to explain why Alexander Graham Bell belongs in HELL. 😀

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Als Antwort auf Bluedepth

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Aubrieta

@Bluedepth

Mh. Sounds good, but: at work i learned that people don't grasp things they read. So i asked them about their favourite communication channel and they told me. I use the channel they tell me to get as much information per time to the adressee.
Plus I tell them mine (writing, always!) - urgent stuff via chat.

What they do: Follow the golden rule 😁

@autism101 @actuallyautistic

@Bluedepth @Autism 101 @ActuallyAutistic group

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Als Antwort auf Dr. Øhm

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Autism 101

@drohm
Most autistic people are not good at dealing with high bitrate unpredictable information. It is one of the reasons we like routines. And if you think about it, phone calls often contain a big amount of uncertainty. And a lot of autistics have high levels of anxiety to start with, and unpredictable phone calls just add to this. I hope that makes some sense. I'm a bit tired...worked 14 hours straight yesterday.
@Dr. Øhm

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Als Antwort auf Woozle Hypertwin

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Autism 101

@woozle @moranaga @wakame
In my work I'm constantly asked to be on client calls because everyone says “you’re good at it". It is so hard for me to stop what I'm working on which takes total focus, and jump on a call. I hate it.When I’m video conference calls, I'm the only one with my camera off.
@Woozle Hypertwin @Mauser II @Aki Moranaga

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Als Antwort auf Autism 101

mastodon - Link zum Originalbeitrag

Jon

not just neurodivergent people. It is horrible that so many financial institutions have done away with all support channels other than phone calls - secure messaging on their website is an ideal way to communicate, for me, allowing history and tracking and avoiding the endless process of re-authenticating myself and explaining yet again what I want. Maddening.

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Als Antwort auf Sharrow_irl

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Wayne Werner

@Sharr0w @solonovamax when attending the DMV for a weird issue, I learned the best thing: a paper with "who?" "when?" and "result"

note down who you talked to and what time and if you get transferred, etc.

In many cases that record is enough to get whatever outcome you need. If you need it.

@Sharrow_irl @solo

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Als Antwort auf Autism 101

mastodon - Link zum Originalbeitrag

Log 🪵

I have a co-worker who insists on "hopping on a call real quick" to efficiently, and without distractions, take 40 minutes to talk about the thing I already understood in the first 30 seconds, repeatedly rebuffing any attempt at redirect. The ability to share one's screen only worsens it all, with "let me show you what I'm talking about". It's the unscripted, unedited YouTube explainer, live. Hell hath no torments so cruel.

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Als Antwort auf Autism 101

snac - Link zum Originalbeitrag

cy

=( Now, just talk into the square. )
( Why would I talk to a square? )=
=( It's not a square it's a person! )
( Looks like a square to me. )=
=( But it sounds like a person! )
( Why does this square sound like a person? )=
=( Because they're on the other end of it! )
( The other end of what? )=
=( Of the phone line! )
( There's no line coming out of this thing. )=
=( It's wireless! )
( You said there was a line! )=
=( It's a metaphorical line! )
( I don't see anything that even looks like a line! )=
=( No no it's receiving radio signals. )
( I also don't see any radio signals. )=
=( They're invisible. )
( So this square is receiving invisible signals that cause it to sound like a person. )=
=( No, it is a person, they're just on the other end of the line. )
( So I'm supposed to intuitively understand that invisible signals make this a person, despite my every instinct screaming that it is a square that keeps sounding like a person. )=
=( No, you're a lost cause, but we'll condition your kids from birth to believe this, and then pretend like it's completely normal to think this way. )
( You'll do what?! Hey, come back! )=
=( Click! Bzzz... )
( You can't just say click buzz and run away come back here! )=
Unbekannter Ursprungsbeitrag

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Jan (DL1JPH)

@jens
Learning to cope can certainly be useful - even necessary sometimes. I'm not arguing against that. It's just important to understand the distinction between learning to cope (which is exhausting) and overcoming fear (which is usually quite liberating). Fear and Overwhelm can look similar from the outside, but require very different strategies to deal with.
@Zumbador @fifilamoura @CedC @autism101 @actuallyautistic
@Jens Finkhäuser @Cèd'C @Autism 101 @ActuallyAutistic group @Fifi Lamoura @Zumbador

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Unbekannter Ursprungsbeitrag

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Jan (DL1JPH)

Or, perhaps, it's just a sign that phones were wildly overused for a time and a course correction is happening... Also - you do realize that "social media" is both extremely generalizing and very much incomplete when describing how people interact, right?
@autism101 @actuallyautistic
@Autism 101 @ActuallyAutistic group
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Als Antwort auf Autism 101

mastodon - Link zum Originalbeitrag

sarah tonin

phpne calls aren't just stressful, they're downright inconvenient, you need both parties to be available at the same time, and you need both in a quiet place, and where the sound won't annoy others around. not only that, if you miss it, you get a voice message that has all the downsides of a phone call. sure phone calls are nice if you're having an actual discussion over a long time, but anything less than that should just be a text or an email

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Als Antwort auf Martijn Vos

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StarkRG

@mcv 😂 When calling a customer support line, I have a hard enough time giving a shit about what their name is, and that's something that might actually be important later.

Oh, is it raining where you are? Nice, I love rain. You want smalltalk? Tell me what precautions your office has made to mitigate airborne virus transmission. No? Ok, then let's just get down to business.

@Martijn Vos
Als Antwort auf Jan (DL1JPH)

mastodon - Link zum Originalbeitrag

Henning Paul DC4HP

@DL1JPH @jens @Zumbador @fifilamoura @CedC I have to call people on the phone at work (and people call me), I can cope with that, but I don't want to additionally make phone calls in my free time on top of that, no thanks.

P.S.: That's why I almost exclusively use digimodes in ham radio.

@Jens Finkhäuser @Cèd'C @Fifi Lamoura @Jan (DL1JPH) @Zumbador

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Als Antwort auf Jan (DL1JPH)

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nellie-m

@DL1JPH @jens @Zumbador @fifilamoura @CedC
I feel that as autistics, we get more than our fair share of advice on how to cope better. It almost invariably means that we need to adjust to some kind of “normal”. That we need to muster all our strength and “just get used to it” so it’s more convenient for others (or, if you will, “the system”).

1/

@Jens Finkhäuser @Cèd'C @Fifi Lamoura @Jan (DL1JPH) @Zumbador

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Als Antwort auf nellie-m

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nellie-m

@DL1JPH @jens @Zumbador @fifilamoura @CedC
It means that we “just” need to silence our own inner voice, “just” disrespect our gut feelings and boundaries, because we’re doing it wrong.

And even if we manage to “get used to it”, to present as “higher functioning” while we make ourselves fit in, we still pay a high price for it.
2/

@Jens Finkhäuser @Cèd'C @Fifi Lamoura @Jan (DL1JPH) @Zumbador

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Als Antwort auf nellie-m

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nellie-m

@DL1JPH @jens @Zumbador @fifilamoura @CedC
Having heard “you’re doing it wrong” all my life is one reason why phone calls can be so hard for me. It’s almost impossible for me to ring someone I don’t know. I’ve been self-employed for 30+ years and while I talk to people on the phone every day, calling a stranger is still as difficult as ever. And the expectation that I should get used to it only adds more stress.
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@Jens Finkhäuser @Cèd'C @Fifi Lamoura @Jan (DL1JPH) @Zumbador

ActuallyAutistic group hat dies geteilt.

Als Antwort auf nellie-m

mastodon - Link zum Originalbeitrag

nellie-m

@DL1JPH @jens @Zumbador @fifilamoura @CedC
No, it didn’t get easier. No, I don’t have to get used to it. It’s okay to feel stressed. Some people have stage fright throughout their successful career, every single evening.

It’s okay to do things scared. Or to skip those and swap them for things you enjoy doing.
4/4

@Jens Finkhäuser @Cèd'C @Fifi Lamoura @Jan (DL1JPH) @Zumbador

ActuallyAutistic group hat dies geteilt.

Als Antwort auf nellie-m

hometown - Link zum Originalbeitrag

Zumbador

Exactly, Nellie.

(the following is not directed at anyone in this thread)

Sometimes it feels like, whenever I express how difficult it is to do something (because I'm autistic) most of the people around me, neurodivergent and neurotypical, think that means I've decided to completely avoid all discomfort and that I've decided turn into an agoraphobic hermit.
And that the best way for me to avoid that is to "practice" more.

Problem is, I'm 52 years old and I've *been* "practicing" those things all my life, pushing myself out of my comfort zone until I've developed pretty severe mental health issues.

At what point will they concede that it's not as simple as just getting used to things? Fifty two years of practice!

@DL1JPH @jens @fifilamoura @CedC @autism101 @actuallyautistic

@Jens Finkhäuser @Cèd'C @Autism 101 @ActuallyAutistic group @Fifi Lamoura @Jan (DL1JPH)

ActuallyAutistic group hat dies geteilt.

Als Antwort auf Zumbador

mastodon - Link zum Originalbeitrag

Kevin Davy

@Zumbador @nellie_m @DL1JPH @fifilamoura @CedC I've been using a phone for work for 30 years. Still don't like it and still don't choose to make a phone call outside of work unless there really is no other option and no avoiding it. This is most definitely not something you get over, or used to.
@Cèd'C @Fifi Lamoura @Jan (DL1JPH) @Zumbador @nellie-m

teilten dies erneut

Unbekannter Ursprungsbeitrag

mastodon - Link zum Originalbeitrag

Jan (DL1JPH)

@nellie_m
At this point, I'll just straight up tell people that I'm not great at dealing with unplanned phone calls, so please just text me beforehand and tell me what it's going to be about (barring emergencies, obviously). If I'm not in a headspace where it's going to be ok, I'm going to ask to schedule something for the next morning. Most people get it and everyone's better off for it.
2/3
@jens @Zumbador @fifilamoura @CedC @autism101 @actuallyautistic
@Jens Finkhäuser @Cèd'C @Autism 101 @ActuallyAutistic group @Fifi Lamoura @Zumbador @nellie-m

ActuallyAutistic group hat dies geteilt.

Als Antwort auf nellie-m

mastodon - Link zum Originalbeitrag

Jan (DL1JPH)

@nellie_m
This is exactly what I mean by developing healthy coping strategies - setting clear boundaries where necessary and having strategies to deal with the unavoidable in a way that won't wear you out faster than you can recover. It doesn't mean trying to appear "normal" to other people. I've never been good at that anyway, so no use trying too hard now...
1/3
@jens @Zumbador @fifilamoura @CedC @autism101 @actuallyautistic
@Jens Finkhäuser @Cèd'C @Autism 101 @ActuallyAutistic group @Fifi Lamoura @Zumbador @nellie-m

ActuallyAutistic group hat dies geteilt.

Als Antwort auf Jan (DL1JPH)

mastodon - Link zum Originalbeitrag

Jan (DL1JPH)

Some people obviously need a bit of convincing, but ultimately at some point it's up to *them* to develop coping strategies as well - there's only so much I can do before it starts to become a problem for everyone involved.
3/3
@jens @Zumbador @fifilamoura @CedC @autism101 @actuallyautistic @nellie_m
@Jens Finkhäuser @Cèd'C @Autism 101 @ActuallyAutistic group @Fifi Lamoura @Zumbador @nellie-m

ActuallyAutistic group hat dies geteilt.

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