Washington D.C., News from Beyond (or the Eye of the Hurricane) – In a press conference filled with meteorological drama, a spokesperson for President Donald Trump announced that the president's team has officially recommended designating the tornadoes that have hit Missouri as a "domestic terrorist organization."

"These tornadoes don't just appear out of nowhere by accident," the spokesperson explained, pointing to a map filled with spirals drawn in red marker. "They're organized, they have a destructive agenda, and they're probably receiving foreign funding. It's very possible they're connected to radical climate groups."

The declaration was met with enthusiasm in some sectors of the Republican party, which have demanded tougher measures against what they call "climate terrorism." According to unconfirmed sources, a military mission has already been ordered to interrogate a suspicious cloud cluster over Oklahoma.

"They're Illegal Tornadoes"

During an appearance on Truth Social, Trump denounced the situation:

"Those tornadoes are illegal! They have no papers, they cross our borders without permission, and they destroy homes that were legally built by true patriots. I said it from the beginning: we need a wall, but in the sky!"

When asked how a celestial wall would be implemented, his team explained that Space Force is already studying a solution based on "anti-twister missiles" and "patriotic clouds that expel communist clouds."

Climate Change? Fake News!

Although scientists insist that the increase in extreme weather events is related to climate change, Trump's team has denied any connection. "Climate change is a Chinese hoax to sell more solar panels and umbrellas," stated an advisor who asked to remain anonymous, though she was wearing a "Make America Dry Again" cap.

What Now?

The Department of Justice (in another parallel universe) is already drafting a document to include tornadoes on the list of sanctioned entities, along with ISIS, Al Qaeda, and alternating current. If approved, all assets that tornadoes have in US banks will be frozen, including dust grains in Kansas and the garden stones still spinning in circles.

Mixed Reactions

Meanwhile, the residents of Missouri continue to pick up what's left of their homes. Some have expressed support for the decision:

"My tractor flew 300 meters. If that's not terrorism, what is?" commented a local farmer, pointing to a trailer stuck in a tree.

Others, however, are skeptical. "Are they going to interrogate the wind? Fine the clouds? Deport Hurricane Elsa?" asked a meteorologist with nervous laughter.